it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Randomize
