just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
