i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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