i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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