I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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