I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Don't EVER smell your tampon
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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