I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How does it feel to date your dad?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
