ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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