Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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