Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
