she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
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coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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