i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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