Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
