do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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