Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize