literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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