The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
