I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
