her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
