My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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