never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I fill condoms, not promises.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize