haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
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i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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