just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize