i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
