I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
