I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it was like eating out sand paper
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
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Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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