DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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