the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize