It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
