i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
