is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
