you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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