This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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