atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
