hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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