I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize