Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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