im about as happy as oj after his trial
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
