well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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