Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
