see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
