I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize