I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
