It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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