We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
