I'm eating all of the evidence.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
