i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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