we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
