I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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