Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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