I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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