You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
