I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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