it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
