Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
