I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She swung at the pinata with crutches
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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