he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
