I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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