your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
