No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
